Monday, August 31, 2015

Until Death do us apart

An emotion that is always cursed. An emotion that is not so appreciated. An emotion that is true. So true that it hurts, not just you but everyone around you.

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"Apparently, movies are the only thing that we both agree upon and enjoy together, isn't it?" asked Radhika. "Is it really the only thing that we enjoy together?" Sandeep questioned her back with his signature style naughty wink, Radhika flashed a fake smile and said "Munni is growing up, you should consider refining your language in front of her" saying this she swiftly walked up to the dining table to get some fries for them all to munch on while watching a newly released movie on a pirated DVD.

Both Sandeep and Radhika were IT professionals from Bangalore while Sandeep is at a very senior level now, Radhika had to slow down her career growth when she got in to family way. They both were working for different companies but had Rahul as a common connection on Linkedin.

Rahul was an Assistant Manager reporting to Sandeep in Protech Infosystems, he chose to hop jobs when he was headhunted by Servion Consulting Services. Servion offered Rahul the role of a Manager, 100% hike plus perks. The most important perk that he received in this career move is having Radhika as his Assistant Manager, directly reporting to him.

The laziness that prevailed in their home was because it was Sunday so no office for Sandeep and Radhika and no school for Munni. They ordered for home delivery from 

Thursday, August 27, 2015

I am that I am not

"I know it is going to be a boy," said Jagan. 
"No, it's going to be a girl, see my tummy is so big. My mom has told me that if the tummy is big then it will be a girl" argued Saranya. 
"Hear my logic. In both our families, the first child has been a boy, for my parents I am the first child and for your parents, Suresh is first so it will be a boy only" said Jagan  
"Anyways, be it a boy or a girl, we will bring it up like a prince or a princess. It should not go through any of the hardships that we have gone through in life," saying this she shifted on the bed and put her arms around Jagan's chest and closed her eyes. 
In a couple of hours, Jagan heard Saranya moaning in pain. He understood that it is time and carried her to the car and hit the road. While holding the steering in one hand, he took his phone with the other and called his Doctor, "Doctor, Saranya got her labor pain, I am bringing her to the hospital." 
He turned around assured Saranya that the doctor is there at the hospital and that she will be fine. Saranya smiled and said, "See, it's going to be a girl" 
"Yes baby, it is going to be a girl and both of you are going to be okay," said Jagan with tears rolling down his cheeks. He looked at the clock in the car's dashboard, it showed 11:47 PM. 
2 hours past and all he could see were the nurses walking in and out of the labor ward. He inquired frantically, every time someone came out of the room.  
He heard the strike of a clock 2 times at a distance, the room door opened again and the doctor came out and said, "It's a boy" 
Jagan cried, thanked the doctor profusely and asked if he can see his wife now. The doctor said he can see the baby in 5 mins, but he can see his wife only after she is shifted to their private room.  
"Prince has arrived" Jagan immediately changed his Whatsapp status and also updated the same on facebook. He typed a rather lengthy message and sent it to both their parents. It was happiness overwhelming. 
"Prathap means bravery, my son will be as brave as Bhagat Singh, so that is what I want to name him," said Jagan 
"No, my son will be a dancer so I want to name him Vineeth, like the great classical dancer and Malayalam movie star" argued Saranya 
Finally, they decided on writing both the names in small sheets of paper and keep it near the baby, whichever he touches first will be his name. 
They both were very curious for about 5 mins till Prathap chose his name. Jagan screamed in joy while Saranya was visibly upset but playfully punched Jagan and said "Its okay, since he has chosen the name himself, let it be, but he will be completely Momma's boy, I'll get him trained in all forms of dance and make him a dancer like Vineeth" 
"It is quite natural that a son will be more attached to his mom than the dad" surrendered Jagan understanding that this is the second disappointment for Saranya and wanted to comfort her in every way possible but sometimes the chauvinistic him overtakes the rational him. 
It was Prathap's 1st birthday so his parents had organized a grand celebration. Prathap was dressed up in a blue jean, red tee, and a denim jacket. His green eyes made him look no less than a model. After the cake cutting, Jagan took to the dais to deliver a quick speech in which he said, "Exactly one year back from today, at the hospital, the doctor came out of the labour room and told that we are blessed with a baby boy, I asked the doctor if I can see my wife first because it is her who has always been there by my side and for any celebration, I need her by my side. Noth just then but all through my life. The love for her has just been growing with days and has not reduced a bit but little did I realize that a little boy will arrive in our life and take away all the attention that I get from my wife. I envy Prathap that way. He gets more kisses than me" the crowd bursted out laughing, Jagan continued "but Prathap is no just our son, he is everything in life for us. We both are committed to giving him every best thing in life and we are sure he is going to make us proud one day" he saw Saranya's eyes welling with tears so he walked up to her, wrapped her in his arms and kissed her on her forehead. She kissed Prathap. 
Prathap grew like a prince. When it was his second birthday Saranya was pregnant again and later she delivered a girl baby, much to the joy of Saranya and ofcourse Jagan too. They named the girl Pranaya. 
Prathap is 5 years and Pranaya is barely 2.5 years when Saranya took them both to Natyalaya and got them both enrolled for Bharatanatyam classes. Both of them grew up to be great dancers and Prathap was 10 years when he made his first stage appearance. It was his Arangetram, but it was Saranya who was more nervous and excited. Her eyes welled up and tears rolled down her cheeks when Prathap came on stage along with his partner Kaushik.  It was a Radhe Kalyanam performance where Kaushik was Krishna and Prathap was chosen to be Radhe because the role of Radhe demanded an expressive eyes and body postures which Prathap pulled off with so much ease. 
Prathap and Pranaya went to a school where children from the high society studied. It was an expensive affair for Jagan, but he somehow managed by optimizing expenses. 
It was only happiness and moments of pride for Jagan and Saranya until this day. It was sports day at the school. While Prathap has always stolen the annual day celebrations, he has never participated in any sports. This is the first time he is participating in running a race and sure enough his parents are there to cheer their loving son. 
The race began, Prathap was standing third in the row and when the whistle blow, it was a moment of embarrassment for the proud parents. The embarrassment was not just because Prathap was running last in the race but also because the entire crowd was laughing at Prathap, they were amused by the way he was running. Slow and with a hip movement was feminine. 
"Bharathanatyam has influenced him so much that his every act has become feminine" Jagan fumed. "Stop crying, it's not a big deal, let us stop his dance classes, he will be alright" They never knew until this day that Prathap is the biggest bully in the school. 
2 more years passed, Prathap wasn't practicing Bharatanatyam anymore, but his feministic actions have only grown from bad to worst. Jagan went around inquiring about this to many sexologists while Saranya kept praying to all the gods being unbiased of the religion. 
Another 3 years passed with all the prayers and the doctor consultations. Pranaya doesn't talk to Prathap anymore. He has become an embarrassment for her at school. While there are different kinds of emotions that Jagan and Saranya had to deal with, from their daughter, his friends, teachers, relatives, society, etc. Prathap had completely transformed into a girl. 
Prathap is 16 years now, he has grown up. It is not his mistake that he has become a transgender, it is genetic and in some of the cases, it is environmental too. He is well past the age to understand the bullies now. He understands the embarrassment that his parents are going through. He understands the kind of embarrassment that Pranaya, his loving sister is being put through because of him. He knows that he is responsible for all this and has to put an end to all their embarrassment. 
It was a Saturday morning. No school for the kids and no work for Jagan. Saranya got up from her bed and went to the kitchen to prepare coffee for Jagan and wake him up. While on her way to their bedroom with the coffee cup in hand, she peeked into the kids room casually to find Pranaya sleeping peacefully but a sheet of paper lying on Prathap's bed. 
The white paper just read, "Sorry momma, sorry dadda for all the embarrassment you had to live with. Pranaya Kutty, you are a queen and has to live the life of a queen, I will not be a hindrance to your any longer. Long Live my darling sister." 
Jagan rushed to the police station and file a complaint. Called all his friends and relatives to inquire. Saranya looked completely broken. It took close to a month for them to accept the reality as it is and carry on with their regular work. Pranaya, though relieved of the fact that she will not have to put up with the embarrassment anymore, looked visibly upset for the fact that she has lost her only sibling. 
On the night Prathap left his house, he got himself dressed in his favorite clothing, momma's salwar kameez and went to bed but did not sleep. After ensuring that Pranaya had slept, he peeped into his parents room to confirm that they were sleeping too, went to the kitchen and stole some money from where he knew Saranya will hide and stepped out of the house carefully, without making any noise. 
It was 11 PM when he reached the railway station. There was a train departing to Bangalore in the next few mins. He took a reservation form and filled it up quickly and went to the counter to buy her ticket. The middle-aged guy at the counter could not read Prathap's handwriting so looked up at him and asked "What is your name?", "Prathiba", came the answer. 
She found a place between 2 seats and laid down there. Her usual bedtime is 10 PM since it was already late, she slept immediately. She was fast asleep when she felt someone scratching her legs, she woke up to see an elderly guy waking her up and asking her to follow him. She was scared but also innocent enough to have not understood his wrong intentions. He walked into the toilet and signalled her to follow him, she now understood and ran from there with tears rolling from her eyes. Luckily, on the other side of the compartment, there were a group of eunuchs who saw Prathiba and understood the situation. One of them found the man and started beating him. The entire compartment woke up to witness the drama, but none came to the rescue of the man, such was the fear for this group. 
Next day morning when they reached Bangalore, Jyothi the elderly one in the eunuch's group asked Prathiba to go with them. Having no place to go she went with them. They were all living in 1 BHK house. about 7 of them staying in the house with Prathiba joining as the 8th. 
By around 11'o clock, they were all ready to head out. Jyothi took Prathiba along with her. Prathiba had no clue as to where they were going and what are they going to do. Jyothi was very caring and considerate, she never asked Prathiba about her past, she has seen enough of these people and knew that it is more important to keep them comfortable than hurting them by talking about their past. They are a group of people who have dreamt about a beautiful life of a woman but this society only exploited them and most of them were used only as sex servants. They had to give in to some perverts' desires just to make a few bucks that are sufficient to buy them a meal. 
They all reached the majestic bus stand and from there they split into 4 pairs. Jyothi and Prathiba took a bus to BTM Layout, the conductor did not issue them a ticket, after they got down at a signal in BTM Layout, they went inside a bar. "I don't drink Akka" said Prathiba. Jyothi just smiled and approached a table that was already occupied and said "Kodu" and the group handed a Rs.100 note and one of the drunk guys in the group gave her a pinch in the hip. Another guy reached out to Prathiba cheeks, but she ran outside the bar weeping. 
Jyothi followed her, caringly held her by her shoulders and said "There is no way we can live a dignified life. Wherever you go, people will only try to exploit. I never asked you about your past life but whatever story you have, trust me, there is a worse story that we have heard. The society looks at you only as a piece of meat that they can savor upon. You were addressed a 'him', you wanted to be addressed as 'her' but the society will forever address you only as 'it'. That's the reality and you need to understand that. The only way you can save your dignity and continue to live, ofcourse by digesting all the physical and mental humiliations that will we go through every day, is by making this form of ours an advantage for us. It is better to allow someone to touch us than ruin us. You will be uncomfortable doing this initially and I will not force you to do it until you become comfortable, but eventually you will understand that we are left with no better option than this." 
Prathiba looked at Jyothi understandingly, wiped her tears, walked up to the pan shop that was outside the bar and said "Kodu", the guy gave her a Rs.20 note, her first ever earning. 
Jyothi walked up to the shop keeper and said "enappa, aivathu kodo" the guy gave another Rs.30. Jyothi and Prathiba heartily laughed at it while their heart was burning with rage.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Once upon a time in the seas

We all would have read about the illegal Myanmar immigrants, a couple of months ago. This story is an imagination about a 10-year-old boy who gets stuck in a boat and no country was willing to offer them any kind of help. 
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"Thein, be careful, you might slip off" cried an elderly woman from the other side of the boat. I don't know her name. She knows my name because all my friends keep calling me and I am one of the most popular guys on this boat. I have many friends with whom I will start playing once we reach a shore but I don't know when will that be. When we started from Myanmar, Pha uncle told me that we will reach a shore in 3 days, where we will get a lot of food, clothes and also some toys to play with. People there are very kind and friendly but a couple of days ago, all the other uncles in the boat threw Pha uncle in to the sea when he was sound asleep. I heard some people saying that Pha uncle died but I don't believe it, he will swim to the shore and get us help. 
My name is Thein, I was born in Myanmar. My father Zeya was a farmer and mother was Hayma had a small shop outside our house where she used to make Atho (a Burmese delicacy that's more like spaghetti.) Daddy always comes home before sunset and since he will be very tired, I enjoy giving him a foot massage in the evenings. One day, while I was giving him a massage inside the house and mom was busy in the shop, when we heard a sudden outcry of my mom shouting "Leave me! Leave me!: when Dad and I rushed out, we only saw an SUV speeding away with my mom inside it, my dad sprinted behind the SUV when he was shot by one of the occupants of the vehicle, right in his chest. I saw my dad falling down lifelessly. I didn't know if I have to check my dad or run behind the vehicle, I decided to hide behind a stone instead of doing both. I was scared if I will also be shot. Pha uncle rushed to me and carried me in his arms, he was all covered in soot. His house was burnt down with his 2 sons and wife still inside the house. Little did I know that there were many of my other friends who were already burnt alive. 
Pha uncle brought me to this boat and told me that my Dad has now gone to stay with god forever and he will ensure that we are all taken care of. I asked him about my mom for which he started crying, I didn't know why but I never asked him that question again.
Pha uncle has told me that there are Angels waiting at the shore for us who will provide us with whatever we ask for, I will ask for new trousers, mine has become so wide that I am having to tie a knot to hold it in my hip. I will also ask for a plate of Atho and Mohinga too. Today we saw another lady being thrown in to the sea, I think she will catch some fishes for us to eat and get back to the boat. 
I was sleeping when I heard everyone in the boat shouting so I also woke and saw another white color boat coming towards us with uniformed men in that. Mom has told me that Angels will always be wearing white color clothes only, I was sure they were angels. They came near us, spoke to 2 or 3 uncles and left without taking any of us with them. Everyone in the boat started crying. I was searching for the friends so that we can start playing again. A boy whose name I didn't know was sleeping next to me but he didn't wake up even amidst all this noise. I knew that they will throw him also in to the sea. All these people will be waiting for us at the shore when we get there. 
After 4 days, a boat came and asked all of us to board their boat. Didn't I tell you that angels will come back? We were all very hungry since we haven't eaten anything solid for so many days now. We have only been eating raw fishes and drinking salt water. I was very happy since I know that I will get Atho and Mohinga once we reach the shore. 
At the shore, we were all made to stand in a queue. A long one, I could not see what this queue was for, but I could see a table at the end of the line, but the table was not manned. One of the uncles fell down while standing in the queue for over an hour, but a khaki-clad officer started beating him and made him stand in the line again. This was not what I had imagined. I told the boy standing behind me in the line that they are preparing Atho and serve it to all of us that is why we were asked to stand in a line but it took almost 4 hours, after which a person with a white jacket manned the table. He was a doctor, he was checking everyone with a stethoscope, examined every part of the body and we were made to stand in another queue. 
This queue again did not have anyone and we were told that an office will note all our records and send us in. 
Pha uncle was not there, my friends who were thrown into the water to catch fishes are not there, mom is not there, I now know that dad is dead. Pha uncle has lied to me that he has gone to stay with God. We are just transported from one hell to another through a boat. 
I wish I was thrown into the water too. I can't see any more of my people dying. I am going back into the waters, I stepped in, no one noticed me, I jumped into the water, I could not breathe, water entered through my nose and mouth. 5 more mins, I wasn't feeling hungry anymore, I was feeling very light. A glorious bright light is all that I could see, but it didn't irritate my eyes. It was so nice, I looked down for a minute, the line was still there and I chose to never look down again. 
I am traveling to be with God now. Not sure how long this journey would be but I am loving it. I wish all those in the boat also die and come along with me, this is far better than being there.