How I think I'll be reading my book in future?

யாரடா நான்?

யாரடா நான்?
நீ என்பது நானா? அல்லது
நான் என்பது நானா ?
அவனென்பது நானா? அல்லது
இவனென்பது நானா?
எவநென்பதும் நானா? அல்லது
எவனோ ஒருவன் தான் நானா?
அண்டமும் நான் ஆதி பகவனும் நான்!!!

நீ உடுத்தி இருக்கும் ஆடை நான்
மானம் காக்க வருபவன் அல்ல
உன் மானமே நான்!!!
நீ வணங்கும் கடவுள் நான்
நான் வகுத்த மதமும் நான்
மதம் பிரித்த பிரிவும் நான்
பிரிவு கொடுத்த வெறியும் நான்
உனக்குள்ளும் நான்
உன் எதிரிக்குள்ளும் நான்
நானென்பது நீயா???
முட்டாள் மானிட பதரே!!!
அண்டமும் நான் ஆதி பகவனும் நான்!!!

நல்லவன் நான்
கெட்டவன் நான்
உன்னுள் நல்லவன், அவனுள் கெட்டவனா?
முட்டாள் மானிட பதரே!!!
அண்டமும் நான் ஆதி பகவனும் நான்!!!

உன்னுள் உள்ள நல்லவனை பார்க்கிறாய் 
ஏனோ அவனுள் கெட்டவனையே தேடுகிறாய்???
அவனுள் நல்லவனை பார்த்தவர்கள் சகாப்தம் ஆனார்கள் 
மற்றவர்களோ  வாழ்ந்தார்கள் மாண்டார்கள் 

There is nothing as brittle as life

Tring!!! Tring!!! The land phone rang. I, with great difficulty, opened my stoned eyes, reached out to my cellphone to look at the time. It showed 8.26 AM. 

"Who the f*** is calling me this early in the morning?" 

I dragged myself to the corner stand where the land phone was kept and answered the phone, "Hello" 

"Hello sir, this is Tabor speaking, may I speak to Mr.Gabriel Pasha?" 

"Tell me Tabor, why the f*** are you calling me this early in the morning? 

"Sir, you asked for a servant maid, there is one Syrian lady, shall I bring her over? 

"How old is she?" 

"She must be in or 26, not more than that" 

"Have you told her all my conditions? I don't want another troublesome one like the last one" 

"Don't worry sir, I have told her all your conditions, she will take care of you day and night" giggled Tabor. 

"I'll come in the evening and see if she is good then I'll take her home." said Gabriel sternly 

I am a young landlord who lost his parents when I was just 22. My parents have left behind a huge inheritance that I have everything that I need for my lifetime. I am  27 years old now, who enjoys life in all the possible ways. 

My daily routine is to wake up when the sun is already up in the sky, with a typical why-the-f***-did-I-drink-so-much kind of a hangover. The day starts with a mug of beer, my favorite hangover drink and then I attend to the morning ablutions. My breakfast time is lunch time for most others living in the same time-zone, but I never missed the gym before my breakfast. I have set up a small gym at home. It is very important for me to stay in good shape, it helps me during the later part of the days. I visit a recreation club regularly, play poker all day long, and the lucky lad that I am, I always win. Late in the evening, I go to a pub and keep drinking until Tabor finds me a companion for that night. 

I was getting bored of this hooking up every day that I once told Tabor that I am looking for a FULL-TIME-MAID to take care of ALL MY REQUIREMENTS during the day and at night. So, Tabor, my loyal pimp finds this lady for me. 

"You sure must be doing some kind of a trick, don't you?" asked one of my buddies at the club. 

"Do you really think I have to? I just use a bit of my brain and your bad luck takes care of the rest" I insulted him without him realizing it. 

Filling my wallet, paying a hefty tip to the bouncers and waiters at the club, I came out and got into my car and  drove straight down to Tabor's house. 

"Please come, Efendi!!!" said Tabor addressing me as Lord in the Turkish language. I instantly knew why he is cajoling me so hard. 

"Stop all this coaxing and just tell me where that lady is. You know very well that if the service is good, you will be paid a handful" 

"Sir, I had carefully chosen this girl for you. I brought her from the refugee camp, but I had to pay a huge amount to the officers there, I am sure you must be aware of all these." continued Tabor. 

I stopped him with a hand gesture and extended a bundle of 10 Lira notes. Tabor was all ecstatic and walked close to me to grab the bundle when I pulled my hands back and said, "First, show me the girl then take the money" That's the way I always work. 

"Sir, she hadn't slept at the camp for over 2 days so she is taking rest in the room upstairs, I'll go and get her right now, you please relax yourself, I'll be back in a moment" said Tabor, pointing to the recliner in his living room. 

When I looked around his house, he had almost every damn luxury that I had in my house. A 40" LED TV, a plush sofa set, a leather recliner. I smiled to myself thinking that more than half of what I saw was bought with my money. 

I heard footsteps at a distance, I knew they were coming, I relaxed on the recliner and looked towards the entrance, Tabor first walked in followed by a beautiful looking lady with flawlessly clear skin, and very fair complexion. The black burkha that was exposing only her face only added to my curiosity. 

Tabor introduced her to me saying "Abidah, this is Gabriel sir, your new master, and Sir, this is Abidah, I've told her all your requirements and she is well aware of all of them" 

I walked up to get a closer look of the Angelic lady standing in front of me and said "Will you please remove your burkha?" I asked. She immediately obliged with a smile and removed her burkha to reveal her silky black hair and a stunning body type. She was wearing a purple color top and a beige pajama.  The word Beautiful must have been coined only for this girl. I instantly decided that I have to reward Tabor handsomely this time. 

"Are you clear about all your responsibilities?" I asked her looking at her face, she looked straight into my eyes and said "Yes, sir. I am aware and agree to it wholeheartedly" 

I lurched to the other side to avoid eye contact with her. She had such powerful eyes. "Am I falling in love? This has never happened to me before. I have a feeling that I need this girl in my life, at any cost" 

I just made Tabor a wealthier person than he was a few minutes back and started driving down to my house with the lovely lady by my side. I didn't speak a word to her but within me I was rehearsing her name "Abidah,,,, A-a-bidah,,,,, A-a-bi-d-aah... Oh my freakin god, however I call her name, it sounds so sweet" 

We reached home, I opened the door and showed her in (ofcourse without looking into her eyes.) Like an obedient house maid, she asked me what I would want for dinner? I have never prepared dinner at home. I don't even know if the kitchen is adequately stocked. I just told her that there is someone who will bring dinner for me. 

I was shocked by what she asked me next, "So, should I make the bed for us now or do you want me to make your drink for you first" 

Why was I shocked? Tabor already told me that he has informed her about all my requirements. I didn't respond and just walked into my room and locked it from the inside. My mind was completely disturbed. I went to the bathroom and stood under the running shower for a while then dressed up and came out to see that the dinner had arrived and was nicely spread on the dining table. There, by the side of the table was my angel Abidah, standing there to serve my dinner. I took the center chair and gestured her to sit in one of the chairs. She served my dinner. I quickly finished it and went back into my room and again locked it from inside. I didn't drink that night, neither did I sleep. 

It should have been around 1 AM when I realized that I had not shown Abidah her room, I have never been so considerate towards a woman in my life. I haven't spoken much to this lady. I don't know anything about her other than her name but for some strange reason, I missed my mom today. I needed a warm motherly hug. 

I stepped out of my room to check on Abidah, she was not to be seen in the living room, I checked the other bedrooms in my house, but she was not to be seen there either. I observed that the lawn lights were still glowing so I walked up to the lawn to see Abidah sitting in a state of oblivion at the lawn chair. I went close to her to notice that her eyes were open, staring off into space without even taking notice of me who is standing right next to her by now. 

I called her name "Abidah!!!" but, she was lost in her own world. I thought for a while and gathered all my courage to reach out to her shoulders, touched her. She twitched and stood up instantly and looked straight into my eyes. This time, I kept staring back. I have never seen such peaceful eyes. 

"Sorry sir, I was lost in some thoughts, do you need something? Should we move inside?" she asked. 

"Call me Gabriel. I like it that way and let me also pull a chair and sit here for some time with you, if it is okay with you?" I said relatively with some level of comfort from now that I attained from looking into her peaceful eyes. 

"Ofcourse Gabriel, let me pull a chair for you" 

Before she could move, I stretched my arms to pull a chair and place it exactly opposite to her so that I can continue admiring the beautiful creation. 

After treating myself to the comfort of the chair and also gesturing the angel to sit, I started "So Abidah, tell me something about yourself. Please don't think this is an interview but I am just curious to know" 

"I am just another immigrant who had to flee from my homeland" as she said this, she again went back to looking into space. She was visibly uncomfortable. 

"Its okay if you are not comfortable telling me, I just asked because I was also not getting sleep and thought we'll chat for some time before retiring to our respective rooms" I said reassuringly and also conveying the message that we'll be sleeping in separate rooms. 

"No Gabriel, I have now come to your place having understood all your requirements. The only way I'll be happy is by seeing you happy, I don't have any other agenda in my life. I will also feel light if I share my story with you" 

Interrupting her mid-way "Abidah, please understand that, though I wanted a house-maid who would play multiple roles in my house, my perceptions changed the moment I saw you. Don't ask me why, I will not be able to answer because I don't know it myself. Probably, by the end of this conversation, I hope to identify and name this feeling" 

She smiled a bit and looked more angelic than ever and continued "Thanks, Gabriel, Tabor did tell me a lot about you before I said okay to take up this job, but I see a completely different person than what he actually described." 

"Neither is Tabor wrong nor are you and I really have no clue about when and how this transformation happened. Anyways, tell me about you Abidah" 

"Can I call you Gabby? it is much easier" she sluggishly inquired 

"Ofcourse, please feel free," said an ecstatic me. I could feel butterflies in my stomach realizing the fact that my angel is getting comfortable with me. 

"Thanks, Gabby. I had a friend in my college whose name was Gabriel and I used to call him Gabby." 

"I am a friend too" (am I flirting now???) 

"Ofcourse you are" she smiled and started off with her story "Gabby, my father was employed with Bena Properties as a Senior Manager and my mother was a teacher. I had a younger brother Jafar, who was doing his Masters at the University of Kalamoon which is one of the top universities of our country." 

"I have heard about Bena properties, they are one of the top real estate companies in Syria, ain't they?" 

"Yes, they are. We were quite comfortable with our livelihood. A small family, a small house that my father had built with his limited earning and a loving mother who ensured that we both got best of the education. She completely believed that education is the only thing that can secure our future" she sighed after saying this and that had a million meanings. 

She continued "I have done my Masters in Electrical and Communication Engineering from IUST, one of the prestigious universities" the same sigh again but this time another million. 

I leaned forward to listen and also to get a closer look of the angelic face. I just couldn't take my eyes off her. I just loved every movement of hers. 

Abidah continued "After finishing my Masters, I landed a good paying job at Gulfsands. The day I got the job is the only day I saw my mom crying. Tears of joy flowed from her eyes. My dad's eyes were welled up too, but being the man of the house, he focussed on comforting my mom than emoting himself" 

I saw the prettiest pair of eyes on the planet welling up in front of me but did not attempt to comfort her. I promised myself that this is the last time this angel is going to cry. 

She took a deep breath and continued "After one month when I received my first salary, I wanted to give it to mom and see the happiness on her face. On my way home, I withdrew the entire salary. I was shocked and frozen on the sight that welcomed me when I neared my locality. The complete locality was blown off by a suicide bombing military tank. Looks like this happened a few hours ago. Amidst all the debris and commotion, I went around looking for my family." 

By this time, Abidah was crying uncontrollably. So was I. I wanted to console myself before consoling her, but she reconciled much before me and continued narrating her tale 

"I saw my mom lying in one of the corners, she was barely breathing. The roads were deserted, I tried to lift my mom, but I could not. She gathered all her energy to gesture me to put her down and called me closer, she wanted to tell me something but fell dead in my arms. I cried aloud, but there was no one to hear me out. With a heavy heart, I put my mom down and ran around looking for my dad and finally found his head alone lying outside the place where our house used to be. All my happiness got shattered, I wanted to take my life off but wanted to check on Jafar before I do anything else, I looked for him everywhere for a couple of hours but could not find him. I had run quite a distance looking for him, by the time I returned to the place where  mom and dad were lying, it was very dark. To my utter dismay, I could not find their bodies, I cried and cried till my tear glands got dried up and did not realize that I had slept right there." 

After a short pause, she continued "I woke up to the cries of dogs, I knew this place wasn't safe so I walked towards the main road and found a place where they had made makeshift tents, I understood that these tents were for victims of the bombing. I sought shelter there and found a corner to sleep. I was too tired of running around and crying that I instantly slept. When I woke up, I had a strong pain in my lower abdomen. It was not the same place where I slept, it looked like an abandoned toilet. I was completely naked. It didn't take long for me to understand that I was drugged and raped. I don't even know who did this to me, I cried for help. After a few hours, a few ladies who were passing by (or were sent by my rapists) found me and shifted me to a hospital. I was at the hospital for a few days, my uterus had to be surgically removed due to multiple infections." 

By this time, I was choking. My parents died at a very young age so I could not contemplate their loss. I was cursing myself for not paying attention to these kinds of injustices around me. I was ashamed to have lived such a life. If only Abidah had not come into my life, I would have killed myself, but now, I have found a reason to correct myself and live a meaningful life. I have to start living to keep the angel in my life happy forever. 

I interrupted Abidah in the middle and inquired about Jafar. She paused for some time and told me 

"I told you about the military tank suicide bombing right? The suicide bomber was Jafar, I got to know this only after a few days. We never had an idea that he was recruited by a terrorist outfit to kill his own people" 

I really wanted to hug her and give her the much-needed comfort but realized that it is not the right time so stayed silent and just looked into her eyes. 

After a brief silence, I asked, "How did you end up being here? That too accepting a job like this?" 

She chuckled and said "Life kept chasing me. I along with many others crossed borders and at every point, all men wanted from me was my body. This phase of my life made me realize that there is nothing as brittle as life. This job is probably the best thing to happen for me. All I had to do is take care of one man in every way possible than becoming a public property" 

It was the break of dawn, by this time, I was completely bowled over. I went on my knees and professed, " Abidah, I was living the life of a monster all these years. When I saw you for first time itself, I got transformed into a human being, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to experience happiness with you. I want to see you smiling till I breathe last, will you be my wife?" 

Hearing this, she fell on her knees too and started crying loudly. I knew they were tears of joy but little did she know that it was blissful for me than her. This was the right time for a hug. A hug had never been so comforting earlier. Thank you mom!!! 

GABRIEL WEDS ABIDAH!!! 

I saw a very disturbing video today and wanted to write a story on it. Some of my friends have been asking me to write a love story so here is a combination of love and the one thing that has been disturbing me for some time. 

Here is the link to the video that disturbed me, 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCGgv5AvEnk

Until Death do us apart

An emotion that is always cursed. An emotion that is not so appreciated. An emotion that is true. So true that it hurts, not just you but everyone around you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Apparently, movies are the only thing that we both agree upon and enjoy together, isn't it?" asked Radhika. "Is it really the only thing that we enjoy together?" Sandeep questioned her back with his signature style naughty wink, Radhika flashed a fake smile and said "Munni is growing up, you should consider refining your language in front of her" saying this she swiftly walked up to the dining table to get some fries for them all to munch on while watching a newly released movie on a pirated DVD.

Both Sandeep and Radhika were IT professionals from Bangalore while Sandeep is at a very senior level now, Radhika had to slow down her career growth when she got in to family way. They both were working for different companies but had Rahul as a common connection on Linkedin.

Rahul was an Assistant Manager reporting to Sandeep in Protech Infosystems, he chose to hop jobs when he was headhunted by Servion Consulting Services. Servion offered Rahul the role of a Manager, 100% hike plus perks. The most important perk that he received in this career move is having Radhika as his Assistant Manager, directly reporting to him.

The laziness that prevailed in their home was because it was Sunday so no office for Sandeep and Radhika and no school for Munni. They ordered for home delivery from 

I am that I am not

"I know it is going to be a boy," said Jagan. 

"No, it's going to be a girl, see my tummy is so big. My mom has told me that if the tummy is big then it will be a girl" argued Saranya. 

"Hear my logic. In both our families, the first child has been a boy, for my parents I am the first child and for your parents, Suresh is first so it will be a boy only" said Jagan  

"Anyways, be it a boy or a girl, we will bring it up like a prince or a princess. It should not go through any of the hardships that we have gone through in life," saying this she shifted on the bed and put her arms around Jagan's chest and closed her eyes. 

In a couple of hours, Jagan heard Saranya moaning in pain. He understood that it is time and carried her to the car and hit the road. While holding the steering in one hand, he took his phone with the other and called his Doctor, "Doctor, Saranya got her labor pain, I am bringing her to the hospital." 

He turned around assured Saranya that the doctor is there at the hospital and that she will be fine. Saranya smiled and said, "See, it's going to be a girl" 

"Yes baby, it is going to be a girl and both of you are going to be okay," said Jagan with tears rolling down his cheeks. He looked at the clock in the car's dashboard, it showed 11:47 PM. 

2 hours past and all he could see were the nurses walking in and out of the labor ward. He inquired frantically, every time someone came out of the room.  

He heard the strike of a clock 2 times at a distance, the room door opened again and the doctor came out and said, "It's a boy" 

Jagan cried, thanked the doctor profusely and asked if he can see his wife now. The doctor said he can see the baby in 5 mins, but he can see his wife only after she is shifted to their private room.  

"Prince has arrived" Jagan immediately changed his Whatsapp status and also updated the same on facebook. He typed a rather lengthy message and sent it to both their parents. It was happiness overwhelming. 

"Prathap means bravery, my son will be as brave as Bhagat Singh, so that is what I want to name him," said Jagan 

"No, my son will be a dancer so I want to name him Vineeth, like the great classical dancer and Malayalam movie star" argued Saranya 

Finally, they decided on writing both the names in small sheets of paper and keep it near the baby, whichever he touches first will be his name. 

They both were very curious for about 5 mins till Prathap chose his name. Jagan screamed in joy while Saranya was visibly upset but playfully punched Jagan and said "Its okay, since he has chosen the name himself, let it be, but he will be completely Momma's boy, I'll get him trained in all forms of dance and make him a dancer like Vineeth" 

"It is quite natural that a son will be more attached to his mom than the dad" surrendered Jagan understanding that this is the second disappointment for Saranya and wanted to comfort her in every way possible but sometimes the chauvinistic him overtakes the rational him. 

It was Prathap's 1st birthday so his parents had organized a grand celebration. Prathap was dressed up in a blue jean, red tee, and a denim jacket. His green eyes made him look no less than a model. After the cake cutting, Jagan took to the dais to deliver a quick speech in which he said, "Exactly one year back from today, at the hospital, the doctor came out of the labour room and told that we are blessed with a baby boy, I asked the doctor if I can see my wife first because it is her who has always been there by my side and for any celebration, I need her by my side. Noth just then but all through my life. The love for her has just been growing with days and has not reduced a bit but little did I realize that a little boy will arrive in our life and take away all the attention that I get from my wife. I envy Prathap that way. He gets more kisses than me" the crowd bursted out laughing, Jagan continued "but Prathap is no just our son, he is everything in life for us. We both are committed to giving him every best thing in life and we are sure he is going to make us proud one day" he saw Saranya's eyes welling with tears so he walked up to her, wrapped her in his arms and kissed her on her forehead. She kissed Prathap. 

Prathap grew like a prince. When it was his second birthday Saranya was pregnant again and later she delivered a girl baby, much to the joy of Saranya and ofcourse Jagan too. They named the girl Pranaya. 

Prathap is 5 years and Pranaya is barely 2.5 years when Saranya took them both to Natyalaya and got them both enrolled for Bharatanatyam classes. Both of them grew up to be great dancers and Prathap was 10 years when he made his first stage appearance. It was his Arangetram, but it was Saranya who was more nervous and excited. Her eyes welled up and tears rolled down her cheeks when Prathap came on stage along with his partner Kaushik.  It was a Radhe Kalyanam performance where Kaushik was Krishna and Prathap was chosen to be Radhe because the role of Radhe demanded an expressive eyes and body postures which Prathap pulled off with so much ease. 

Prathap and Pranaya went to a school where children from the high society studied. It was an expensive affair for Jagan, but he somehow managed by optimizing expenses. 

It was only happiness and moments of pride for Jagan and Saranya until this day. It was sports day at the school. While Prathap has always stolen the annual day celebrations, he has never participated in any sports. This is the first time he is participating in running a race and sure enough his parents are there to cheer their loving son. 

The race began, Prathap was standing third in the row and when the whistle blow, it was a moment of embarrassment for the proud parents. The embarrassment was not just because Prathap was running last in the race but also because the entire crowd was laughing at Prathap, they were amused by the way he was running. Slow and with a hip movement was feminine. 

"Bharathanatyam has influenced him so much that his every act has become feminine" Jagan fumed. "Stop crying, it's not a big deal, let us stop his dance classes, he will be alright" They never knew until this day that Prathap is the biggest bully in the school. 

2 more years passed, Prathap wasn't practicing Bharatanatyam anymore, but his feministic actions have only grown from bad to worst. Jagan went around inquiring about this to many sexologists while Saranya kept praying to all the gods being unbiased of the religion. 

Another 3 years passed with all the prayers and the doctor consultations. Pranaya doesn't talk to Prathap anymore. He has become an embarrassment for her at school. While there are different kinds of emotions that Jagan and Saranya had to deal with, from their daughter, his friends, teachers, relatives, society, etc. Prathap had completely transformed into a girl. 

Prathap is 16 years now, he has grown up. It is not his mistake that he has become a transgender, it is genetic and in some of the cases, it is environmental too. He is well past the age to understand the bullies now. He understands the embarrassment that his parents are going through. He understands the kind of embarrassment that Pranaya, his loving sister is being put through because of him. He knows that he is responsible for all this and has to put an end to all their embarrassment. 

It was a Saturday morning. No school for the kids and no work for Jagan. Saranya got up from her bed and went to the kitchen to prepare coffee for Jagan and wake him up. While on her way to their bedroom with the coffee cup in hand, she peeked into the kids room casually to find Pranaya sleeping peacefully but a sheet of paper lying on Prathap's bed. 

The white paper just read, "Sorry momma, sorry dadda for all the embarrassment you had to live with. Pranaya Kutty, you are a queen and has to live the life of a queen, I will not be a hindrance to your any longer. Long Live my darling sister." 

Jagan rushed to the police station and file a complaint. Called all his friends and relatives to inquire. Saranya looked completely broken. It took close to a month for them to accept the reality as it is and carry on with their regular work. Pranaya, though relieved of the fact that she will not have to put up with the embarrassment anymore, looked visibly upset for the fact that she has lost her only sibling. 

On the night Prathap left his house, he got himself dressed in his favorite clothing, momma's salwar kameez and went to bed but did not sleep. After ensuring that Pranaya had slept, he peeped into his parents room to confirm that they were sleeping too, went to the kitchen and stole some money from where he knew Saranya will hide and stepped out of the house carefully, without making any noise. 

It was 11 PM when he reached the railway station. There was a train departing to Bangalore in the next few mins. He took a reservation form and filled it up quickly and went to the counter to buy her ticket. The middle-aged guy at the counter could not read Prathap's handwriting so looked up at him and asked "What is your name?", "Prathiba", came the answer. 

She found a place between 2 seats and laid down there. Her usual bedtime is 10 PM since it was already late, she slept immediately. She was fast asleep when she felt someone scratching her legs, she woke up to see an elderly guy waking her up and asking her to follow him. She was scared but also innocent enough to have not understood his wrong intentions. He walked into the toilet and signalled her to follow him, she now understood and ran from there with tears rolling from her eyes. Luckily, on the other side of the compartment, there were a group of eunuchs who saw Prathiba and understood the situation. One of them found the man and started beating him. The entire compartment woke up to witness the drama, but none came to the rescue of the man, such was the fear for this group. 

Next day morning when they reached Bangalore, Jyothi the elderly one in the eunuch's group asked Prathiba to go with them. Having no place to go she went with them. They were all living in 1 BHK house. about 7 of them staying in the house with Prathiba joining as the 8th. 

By around 11'o clock, they were all ready to head out. Jyothi took Prathiba along with her. Prathiba had no clue as to where they were going and what are they going to do. Jyothi was very caring and considerate, she never asked Prathiba about her past, she has seen enough of these people and knew that it is more important to keep them comfortable than hurting them by talking about their past. They are a group of people who have dreamt about a beautiful life of a woman but this society only exploited them and most of them were used only as sex servants. They had to give in to some perverts' desires just to make a few bucks that are sufficient to buy them a meal. 

They all reached the majestic bus stand and from there they split into 4 pairs. Jyothi and Prathiba took a bus to BTM Layout, the conductor did not issue them a ticket, after they got down at a signal in BTM Layout, they went inside a bar. "I don't drink Akka" said Prathiba. Jyothi just smiled and approached a table that was already occupied and said "Kodu" and the group handed a Rs.100 note and one of the drunk guys in the group gave her a pinch in the hip. Another guy reached out to Prathiba cheeks, but she ran outside the bar weeping. 

Jyothi followed her, caringly held her by her shoulders and said "There is no way we can live a dignified life. Wherever you go, people will only try to exploit. I never asked you about your past life but whatever story you have, trust me, there is a worse story that we have heard. The society looks at you only as a piece of meat that they can savor upon. You were addressed a 'him', you wanted to be addressed as 'her' but the society will forever address you only as 'it'. That's the reality and you need to understand that. The only way you can save your dignity and continue to live, ofcourse by digesting all the physical and mental humiliations that will we go through every day, is by making this form of ours an advantage for us. It is better to allow someone to touch us than ruin us. You will be uncomfortable doing this initially and I will not force you to do it until you become comfortable, but eventually you will understand that we are left with no better option than this." 

Prathiba looked at Jyothi understandingly, wiped her tears, walked up to the pan shop that was outside the bar and said "Kodu", the guy gave her a Rs.20 note, her first ever earning. 

Jyothi walked up to the shop keeper and said "enappa, aivathu kodo" the guy gave another Rs.30. Jyothi and Prathiba heartily laughed at it while their heart was burning with rage.

Once upon a time in the seas

We all would have read about the illegal Myanmar immigrants, a couple of months ago. This story is an imagination about a 10-year-old boy who gets stuck in a boat and no country was willing to offer them any kind of help. 

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"Thein, be careful, you might slip off" cried an elderly woman from the other side of the boat. I don't know her name. She knows my name because all my friends keep calling me and I am one of the most popular guys on this boat. I have many friends with whom I will start playing once we reach a shore but I don't know when will that be. When we started from Myanmar, Pha uncle told me that we will reach a shore in 3 days, where we will get a lot of food, clothes and also some toys to play with. People there are very kind and friendly but a couple of days ago, all the other uncles in the boat threw Pha uncle in to the sea when he was sound asleep. I heard some people saying that Pha uncle died but I don't believe it, he will swim to the shore and get us help. 

My name is Thein, I was born in Myanmar. My father Zeya was a farmer and mother was Hayma had a small shop outside our house where she used to make Atho (a Burmese delicacy that's more like spaghetti.) Daddy always comes home before sunset and since he will be very tired, I enjoy giving him a foot massage in the evenings. One day, while I was giving him a massage inside the house and mom was busy in the shop, when we heard a sudden outcry of my mom shouting "Leave me! Leave me!: when Dad and I rushed out, we only saw an SUV speeding away with my mom inside it, my dad sprinted behind the SUV when he was shot by one of the occupants of the vehicle, right in his chest. I saw my dad falling down lifelessly. I didn't know if I have to check my dad or run behind the vehicle, I decided to hide behind a stone instead of doing both. I was scared if I will also be shot. Pha uncle rushed to me and carried me in his arms, he was all covered in soot. His house was burnt down with his 2 sons and wife still inside the house. Little did I know that there were many of my other friends who were already burnt alive. 

Pha uncle brought me to this boat and told me that my Dad has now gone to stay with god forever and he will ensure that we are all taken care of. I asked him about my mom for which he started crying, I didn't know why but I never asked him that question again.

Pha uncle has told me that there are Angels waiting at the shore for us who will provide us with whatever we ask for, I will ask for new trousers, mine has become so wide that I am having to tie a knot to hold it in my hip. I will also ask for a plate of Atho and Mohinga too. Today we saw another lady being thrown in to the sea, I think she will catch some fishes for us to eat and get back to the boat. 

I was sleeping when I heard everyone in the boat shouting so I also woke and saw another white color boat coming towards us with uniformed men in that. Mom has told me that Angels will always be wearing white color clothes only, I was sure they were angels. They came near us, spoke to 2 or 3 uncles and left without taking any of us with them. Everyone in the boat started crying. I was searching for the friends so that we can start playing again. A boy whose name I didn't know was sleeping next to me but he didn't wake up even amidst all this noise. I knew that they will throw him also in to the sea. All these people will be waiting for us at the shore when we get there. 

After 4 days, a boat came and asked all of us to board their boat. Didn't I tell you that angels will come back? We were all very hungry since we haven't eaten anything solid for so many days now. We have only been eating raw fishes and drinking salt water. I was very happy since I know that I will get Atho and Mohinga once we reach the shore. 

At the shore, we were all made to stand in a queue. A long one, I could not see what this queue was for, but I could see a table at the end of the line, but the table was not manned. One of the uncles fell down while standing in the queue for over an hour, but a khaki-clad officer started beating him and made him stand in the line again. This was not what I had imagined. I told the boy standing behind me in the line that they are preparing Atho and serve it to all of us that is why we were asked to stand in a line but it took almost 4 hours, after which a person with a white jacket manned the table. He was a doctor, he was checking everyone with a stethoscope, examined every part of the body and we were made to stand in another queue. 

This queue again did not have anyone and we were told that an office will note all our records and send us in. 

Pha uncle was not there, my friends who were thrown into the water to catch fishes are not there, mom is not there, I now know that dad is dead. Pha uncle has lied to me that he has gone to stay with God. We are just transported from one hell to another through a boat. 

I wish I was thrown into the water too. I can't see any more of my people dying. I am going back into the waters, I stepped in, no one noticed me, I jumped into the water, I could not breathe, water entered through my nose and mouth. 5 more mins, I wasn't feeling hungry anymore, I was feeling very light. A glorious bright light is all that I could see, but it didn't irritate my eyes. It was so nice, I looked down for a minute, the line was still there and I chose to never look down again. 

I am traveling to be with God now. Not sure how long this journey would be but I am loving it. I wish all those in the boat also die and come along with me, this is far better than being there.